Day 5

She rode her bike down the familiar road, until she saw the figure of a sleek car come into her view. As she approached the car, she realized they were parked in front of the entrance to her grandfather’s home. She hadn’t seen anyone near the place ever---he had died when she was too small to remember him. He had left the lot to her family when he passed away, but her father refused to move his family into the house. He had once told her mother that there was something not right with the house, the way the spaces behind the windows seemed to watch you. But her mother refused to sell the home.

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This isn’t making sense trying to get down on paper. Why is it strange to see someone parked by her grandfather’s house? Why do they still own it? Who keeps it up? I know all these answers actually, but how do I tell the reader in a way that’s interesting? Her gradual exploration of her late grandfather’s house and what she discovers there is the pivotal point in starting the story, going from normal to the beginning of the adventure of her life. So why is the progression of this story so far literally putting me to sleep? I’ve been told the best way to grab the reader’s attention is to jump right into some action, and so far, everything’s too slow to be interesting. This slow progression would only work if I was Tolkien.

Day 4

     Alice kept to her thoughts, musing even as they returned to gather their things from the library and unlock their bikes to ride home. Heather continued to bad mouth the Billy and his gang until Alice nearly ran into a mailbox. “Whoa, hey, Alice! Your head caught in the clouds?” Heather laughed. “Off to Wonderland again, huh?” Alice grinned sheepishly. “Sorry Heather, I just remembered that boy just joined our class. Nobody seems to like him much, what with his nickname and all?”

    “Ah, yes,” Heather nodded sagely. “ Witch-boy, am I right? I heard it was some girls giggling about his looks and next thing you know, all their lockers slam and nearly rip their hair out. Or the guy who tried to trip him and then fell down a flight of stairs for absolutely no reason? I’ve also heard he talks to himself all the time, I mean, actually has arguments with himself. Yeah, I’d say the kid’s weird.” Alice snorted. “ Are you sure they’re not just using him as a scapegoat for their own stupidity?” They stopped at a house on the outskirts of town, where Heather’s family lived. Alice could hear Heather’s grandmother clanging together dinner as Heather’s younger siblings crashed around where the grandfather was supposed to be watching them. Alice knew he was probably on the back porch, rocking in his chair and reading the town newspaper, as usual. Heather’s mother wouldn’t be home until she locked up the family’s bakery. How one family moved about like that, Alice would never know. She watched her friend disappear into the garage, and then set on her way home, the shaky pavement of the old town giving way to familiar, dusty red road as the sun began to set over the green blanket of crops that draped across the landscape.

   

   

Day 3

    “Don’t worry about it Alice,” Heather sighed. “You just can’t help some people.”

     Alice stared down the street where the boy had disappeared. It took her a moment to realize she had recognized him. She faintly remembered him being introduced in her class at school, standing by the teacher.  His mop of black hair had looked oily under the lights, and his hands shaking noticeably. He had looked up once, and she had noticed his eyes were a startling green, like the glowsticks her mother used to buy her for summer nights. His name was Matthias, and apparently from the start there was something odd about him, enough for the kids at school to start calling him the witch-boy. She wasn’t quite sure why, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

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I can never seem to get character description right, so I'll definitely go back and edit his introduction. Should I probably give some instances on why he is now known as a witch-boy, or leave it at that and bring it up later?